Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
