I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
no, he came in my armpit
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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