Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
