There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
