I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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