The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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