Got a toothbrush?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
