hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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