the condom got lost in my hair
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
