Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
