return my video game
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
