My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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