Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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