guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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