Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
