fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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