Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
My vagina is officially offended.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
