Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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