is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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