i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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