Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
