Barsexuality is the new black.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
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