so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
