Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
