I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize