Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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