You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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