I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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