There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
