He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
