I'd wear matching sweaters with you
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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