So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
