well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
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He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
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just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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