K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
And then my night got REAL pukey
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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