Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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