You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
