Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
