Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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