She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
