my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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