so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
