you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
