I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize