the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
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There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
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Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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