what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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