Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
