It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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