My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
