Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
