it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
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Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
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he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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