Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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