Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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