ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
