He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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