I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
