some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
