apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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