Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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