What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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