she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I lost the right to judge tonight
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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